Helping Kids Through a Divorce

Divorce is an emotional time no matter the circumstances, but when kids are involved, it’s usually a lot more difficult. Maybe you and your spouse tried to make it work for the kids’ sake, but you’ve finally decided it’s in everyone’s best interests to go your separate ways. Now you must figure out how to break the news to the kids.

Helping kids through a divorce is tough, but it’s not impossible.

Breaking the News

There’s no getting around it—this will be one of the hardest conversations you’ll ever have. Still, like all scary things, if you practice beforehand, you will feel a lot better and more equipped to answer your children’s questions. The following are some things to keep in mind when breaking the news:

• Be clear that you and your spouse have decided to live apart.
• Explain that it’s not the child’s fault, and reiterate this many times.
• Tell your child that parents can’t divorce their kids and that both parents will still be in the child’s life.
• Don’t blame each other for the divorce during this conversation, opting instead to say things like, “Mommy and Daddy can’t seem to agree anymore.”
• Make sure the discussion fits the age and maturity level of your child.

Minimize the Negative Impact

You can do many things to help your child get through a divorce with the most positive outcome possible. The most important thing is to make sure your child doesn’t feel responsible for the divorce. Here are a few other musts if you want to minimize the effects of divorce on your child’s happiness:

• Don’t fight or discuss the legal aspects of your divorce around the child. Ever.
• Keep the child’s daily routine as stable as possible.
• If you can manage it, keep both parents actively involved in the child’s life.
• Let your child know that sad feelings are OK. He or she doesn’t have to put on a brave face.
• Make sure your child knows you will always be there for him or her.

Be Prepared to Answer Some Questions

It’s only natural that your child will have a lot of questions. Some of these questions will not be easy to answer, and you should think carefully before you do. You don’t want to lie, but you also don’t want to start blaming the other spouse for the divorce or telling your child things that aren’t age-appropriate.

For example, if your child asks why you are getting a divorce, don’t say it’s your spouse’s fault. Simply say that the two of you weren’t able to get along. Here are some of the questions you should be ready to answer:

• Are we moving?
• Where will I live?
• Am I still going to the same school?
• Is it something I did?
• Can I still see my friends?
• Will I still get to see you?
• Where will I go for holidays?

Work with a Rancho Cucamonga Divorce Attorney

Helping kids through a divorce will be difficult—there’s no denying that. But it can be made easier by preparing for it beforehand and putting your child’s feelings first. If you are going through a divorce, you may want to consult with a family lawyer who can help ensure your interests are looked after and answer family legal questions.

Call the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock to discuss your divorce case for free during an initial consultation. You can use the form below or call 909-466-7661 to get in touch.

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Online Dating and Divorce

There are all kinds of theories out there on whether online dating is more likely to lead to divorce. The truth is that the research is still too contradictory and speculative to be able to draw any reliable conclusions.

For example, a recent study on online dating and divorce states that divorce is less likely if you’ve met your partner online than if you went the traditional route. However, other sources suggest otherwise.

With so many conflicting opinions out there, what are you supposed to believe?

Online Dating Can Be a Good Option

While some researchers claim that online dating leads to “casual” dating and more affairs, others say it depends on your goals. Yes, you can meet people online with no intention of establishing a long-lasting relationship, but sometimes your intentions can change.

Once you meet someone and get to know him or her, the person becomes part of your social network. It also turns out that where you meet someone doesn’t really matter as much as how you treat each other during the relationship. If you are unable to find a partner the traditional way, then online dating is often a good option.

What Factors Lead to Divorce?

If online dating isn’t really that big of a deal when it comes to factors that lead to divorce, then what does cause couples to break up? Here are a few common factors:

• Adultery – Cheating is still one of the top reasons couples get divorced. This situation is difficult to overcome and is a common reason couples can’t work things out. One way to move past the mistrust adultery can cause in a marriage is to seek help from a counselor.
• Financial Stress – Finances are a big cause of conflict in relationships. When a couple is not on the same page financially (one is a good saver and the other is a big-ticket spender, for example), this can lead to cracks in the marriage that are difficult to mend. Seeing a financial planner can help get both people to see eye to eye.
• Work Stress – Work-related stress is another big problem in marriages, as is the time spent away from one another. When one person in the relationship has overwhelming work obligations, this can slowly drive a couple apart because they aren’t making time for each other. Regular date nights can help bring a couple back together.
• Depression – When one party in a relationship suffers from depression, especially undiagnosed depression, it can put incredible strain on the other party. One minute, the person can seem happy, and the next minute, he or she is going through intense mood swings. The other party in the relationship can grow resentful over time.
• Addictions – Addictions can be incredibly stressful for both people in a marriage. Getting over an addition is a long, hard road, and couples can begin to lose touch with one another during the battle. The important thing is to keep reaching out and trying to connect. Therapy can help a couple get through addiction.

Call the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock

Online dating doesn’t necessarily lead to divorce and is a good option for couples that want to look outside of their own small network for a partner. To avoid divorce, you must work hard to maintain your relationship. Sometimes, though, no matter how much you work at it, relationships can still fall apart.  

If you need help with a divorce or separation in California, call the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock. We will provide you with sensitive and informed legal advice and assistance to help you get through the divorce process as painlessly as possible. Call us at 909-466-7661 or complete the form below for a free consultation.

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How to Prepare for a Divorce Hearing

Even the most amicable divorce is stressful, but a contested divorce can be much more so. Court is intimidating no matter what reason you have to be there, but the more prepared you are, the less scary it will be. Organization and preparation are the keys to a more positive hearing, so make sure you follow these steps when preparing for court.

Get Your Documents in Order

The whole point of a divorce hearing is for a judge to help you and your spouse divide your assets fairly. That’s why it’s imperative that you gather all your documents ahead of time and spend plenty of time reviewing the information. You want to be able to answer all the judge’s questions easily.

The documents you will need to gather are any and all that pertain to your debts, income, and assets. If children are involved, you may need to provide additional documentation of your child’s expenses and specific information pertaining to your parenting skills.

Know the Laws

Your attorney will assist you with this step. He or she will help you understand California laws that relate to the division of assets and child custody. Still, it can’t hurt to review California’s divorce laws. Then, if you have any questions, ask your attorney.

Dress Appropriately

Make sure you dress appropriately for court. You don’t have to wear a suit or extremely formal apparel, but be sure that you look like you are taking this hearing seriously. Yes, you are judged by your appearance—we all are. Make sure you are wearing business attire, and try not to wear anything with wrinkles or holes.

Always Remain Calm in Court

One of the most difficult aspects of a divorce is the emotional state it leaves you in. Controlling your emotions is a difficult skill for anyone to master, but it is important when you are standing in a courtroom.

Even if a ruling doesn’t go the way you hoped, you must remain calm. If you don’t, you risk leaving the judge feeling like you aren’t a fit parent.

Contact the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock

When preparing for a divorce hearing, you could benefit from a divorce lawyer’s guidance. Call an attorney from the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock. We have over twenty-five years of experience working with difficult family law cases. Use the contact form below or call us today at 909-466-7661 to get started.

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How Does Stepparent Adoption in California Work?

If you have been raising your stepchild as your own, you may soon want to adopt the child. The love between a stepparent and stepchild can be just as strong as the love between biological parents and their children, and many stepparents end up raising their stepchildren like their own.

However, a stepparent does not have the same legal rights to a child as a biological parent has, according to California law. In this situation, many stepparents look to solidify the relationship through adoption. But this can be a complicated process, particularly if a biological parent has other ideas about the child’s future.

For help adopting your stepchild, you may want to reach out to an adoption lawyer.

Why You Should Adopt

First, you’ll need to establish why you should be allowed to adopt the child. After all, once a couple becomes married, a stepparent does have certain rights. A stepparent can typically do things like take a child to the doctor, help out with school, and enroll the child in sports.

However, if the biological parent were to die or become unable to legally care for the child, that stepparent would no longer have the same legal rights. Instead, the child’s other biological parent would gain sole custody. This can be alarming if the other biological parent is unreliable, unstable, or generally uninterested in the child’s wellbeing.

Adoption officially establishes and protects your rights as a stepparent so that, even if you divorce the biological parent in the future, those rights will remain intact.

The Stepparent Adoption Process

For a stepparent to adopt a child, the biological parents must agree to the adoption. This is typically easy to obtain from the biological parent who is married to the stepparent. That parent gets to maintain his or her legal rights without sacrificing them for the adoption to occur.

However, conflict can arise between the other biological parent who is outside of that married relationship. For example, if a mother remarries, the new husband and stepfather may wish to adopt the children. The biological father may disagree because, in order for the stepdad to complete the adoption, the biological father would need to give up his custodial rights.

The same is true of the situation in reverse. Essentially, if a stepfather or stepmother wishes to adopt a child, the parent of the same sex needs to give up his or her custodial rights.

If a child was born to a same-sex couple, one of the parents would need to give up his or her custodial rights for an adoption to occur, regardless of which one does. Essentially, a child can only have two legal parents.

Once there is an agreement, a court hearing will need to take place for the adoption to be official. This is something a family law attorney should handle to ensure that the paperwork is completed correctly and that everything goes smoothly during the court hearing.

Rancho Cucamonga Adoption Lawyer

The Office of Laurence J. Brock handles stepparent adoptions. You can reach us to discuss your case in further detail by calling 909-466-7661 or filling out the online contact form at the bottom of this page.

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Post-Divorce Tips

By the time the final divorce papers are signed, most people are emotionally and mentally drained. While working with a family attorney makes the legal process easier, it can’t erase the emotional impact of separating from your spouse.

Whether getting divorced left you feeling worn down, depressed, or excited but unsure of what to do next, these tips can help you make the most of the new life that’s before you.

 

1. Take Time to Feel Sad

Even if you wanted the divorce or annulment, you’re likely to feel a sense of loss and maybe even a sense of failure along with it.

This is part of the grieving process, and you have to go through it to move forward. Allow yourself time to feel sad, talk about it with friends and family, and don’t feel guilty for grieving.

While it may not make sense on paper to feel sad about losing someone who wasn’t right for you, it’s perfectly normal to feel sad anyway. Just don’t get stuck there. Speak with a therapist if necessary so you can properly grieve and then move forward.

 

2. Be Proud of Yourself

Divorces can leave one or both people feeling insecure. Rather than letting all the self-criticism sink in, take time to be proud of yourself.

You made it through the divorce and are back out on your own. That alone is something to be proud of. Now, take some time alone to identify other aspects of your personality that you’re proud of.

Focus on those things—not what your ex-spouse said about you.

 

3. Do What You Love

Did you give up your favorite hobbies, vacation spots, or restaurants because your ex didn’t like them? Now is the time to pick them back up again.

Even if it’s something simple like going for a jog in the morning or buying season tickets to cheer on your favorite team, doing what you love again will help you feel like your old self and enjoy life in the process.

 

4. Decide What You Want

Near the end of a relationship, both sides tend to spend time attempting to make the other happy. Then, during the divorce, it’s about survival and keeping your head above water.

In both circumstances, doing what you want is typically off the table. Other things are vying for attention. Now that the divorce is over, you can consider what you want out of each day and what you want out of your life.

This is an excellent time to consider changing careers, going back to school, moving to the beach like you always wanted, or taking a month off for vacation. Use the divorce as an opportunity to recreate yourself in a way that makes you happy.

 

5. Be with Loved Ones

Surround yourself with positive people who you love and who love you back. These people could be your kids, friends, family members, or even colleagues.

After the toxicity of a divorce, being around positive and loving people can help you refocus on the joy in your life.

 

You Can Do This

You made it through the divorce. No matter how difficult it became, you did it, and now is the time to celebrate that achievement—and your new life.

If you have any lingering legal issues after your divorce, call the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock at 909-466-7661 or fill out the online contact form below.

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What Happens During a Child Custody Hearing?

Going to court isn’t easy, especially when you’re dealing with custody matters. Not much is more emotional than fighting for custody of your children. How much time you get with them is on the line, and how a judge rules could impact your time with them until they turn eighteen.

That’s why it’s critically important that you hire an experienced family lawyer to represent you and that you rigorously prepare for your case.

Before You Go to Court

The process begins before you go to court. Your attorney will need to prepare documents requesting a custody hearing, proposing a certain schedule, and explaining why the court should grant it. These pre-trial steps will require you to do the following:

1) Discuss Your Objectives with Your Lawyer

In matters of custody, everyone has to give up something because a judge will normally want children to see both parents. That means that, under the best circumstances, you will be awarded primary custody while the other parent is awarded visitation or supervised visitation.

Consider what you are willing to give up and discuss this with your lawyer so it can be included in your proposal. Going into the hearing offering zero visitation will make you look unreasonable and could hurt you in the long run.

2) Gather Evidence

Any evidence that demonstrates how you provide stability and consistency for your children can be helpful. For example, if you can show that your home is in their school district or you take them to their weekly sports activities, a judge may see why it is important for them to spend time in your care.

What to Expect

During the hearing, your attorney will present your requests to the judge. The other parent’s attorney will also present his or her case. Both sides may call witnesses and ask them questions. Your attorney will speak on your behalf, so you will only need to speak if you are called to testify.

A judge will listen to testimony and may ask direct questions if something needs to be clarified. In some custody cases, a guardian ad litem will be appointed to meet with the children, watch how both parents interact with them, and create a report for the judge to review. This report is used as a third-party opinion on what custody arrangement would be in the best interest of the children.

Once the judge has reviewed all evidence and listened to testimony, he or she will deliberate and make a custody decision—usually on the same day as the hearing. The judge’s ruling will then be put into a final order, and both parents will need to abide by it.

Hire a Family Lawyer

To speak with a qualified Rancho Cucamonga child custody lawyer, call the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock at 909-466-7661.

 

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Types of Child Visitation Orders in California

Nothing is more important than the relationship between a parent and his or her child. While nearly all parents would like to have full custody of their children, this isn’t always possible, especially when a divorce is involved. Other factors might also come into play, making even joint custody unavailable and leaving some parents with visitation as their only option.

If this is your situation, it’s important to understand the differences between the various types of visitation that are available in California. By understanding your options, you can determine if you might have a better option available than your current situation, or simply know what to push for if you have an upcoming divorce or custody dispute.

Scheduled Visitation

Scheduled child visitation orders are perhaps the most common form. With this type of visitation order, the parents, their family law attorneys, and the courts work out a visitation schedule that must be adhered to throughout the calendar year. This also usually includes planning for special occasions and holidays.

There are a number of benefits with this type of plan. In particular, it eliminates miscommunication and potential conflicts because everything is planned out well in advance. This is particularly beneficial if you no longer get along with the other parent and want to minimize arguments and other difficulties.

Reasonable Visitation

This type of visitation order is much more open-ended and really doesn’t have much that’s set in stone. The parents are essentially expected to schedule visitation as they go along and to work things out amongst themselves.

Obviously, reasonable visitation should only be considered if the parents either still get along or are able to set their differences aside and communicate effectively. If things become rocky, it can be better for all involved (especially the kids) if scheduled visitation is employed instead.

Supervised Visitation

Supervised visitation is usually employed in one of two scenarios. In its most common form, it’s used because the court feels that the visiting parent cannot be fully trusted with the child’s safety. This is often due to a criminal conviction involving a violent crime or a sex offense, but it could be due to a number of other factors, as well.

The second scenario is more benign. In this situation, the visiting parent may have been estranged from the child for some reason, and the two need a period of supervised visitation to become comfortable with each other. This can eventually lead to reasonable or scheduled visitation.

Connect with a Rancho Cucamonga Visitation Rights Lawyer

When custody isn’t an option, a child visitation order can be beneficial to everyone involved. You want to make certain that the visitation order you receive is the best one possible, however, which is where the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock comes in.

We have extensive experience helping parents negotiate child visitation, whether that negotiation involves the other parent, another attorney, or the courts. We can help you get the schedule that would be best for both you and the kids. It starts with a free consultation, so give us a call at 909-466-7661 or simply complete the contact form below.

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Why Get a Postnuptial Agreement?

The Wall Street Journal says postnuptial agreements are on the rise. Just like a “prenup,” a “postnup” is used to lay out the assets and liabilities of a couple and designate who gets what in a divorce or after the death of one spouse. The difference is that a postnuptial agreement is created after a couple gets married (or becomes domestic partners) and smooths the hurdles to marital bliss that arise as the honeymoon wears off.

Differing opinions on financial matters and the division of household and parenting duties cause impasses in the best marriages. And in more trying situations, resentment, passive aggressive standoffs, screaming matches, and feelings of being taken advantage of lead to the familiar “I can’t do this anymore” divorce refrain.

By clearing these roadblocks, couples can get back to enjoying why they paired up in the first place. Many couples have said that the process of examining their finances and daily duties and airing their concerns with the help of a mediator was cathartic.

 

Some Common Postnup Topics

Along with sorting out finances, the couple can include anything that enhances their sense of peace and security. Some common topics include the following:

Possessions and Inheritance

Family antiques, collections, and anything of personal value can be assigned to one spouse legally. In the event of a divorce or death, this angle would already be covered.

Child Rearing

If one spouse reluctantly gives up a career for the good of the family and fears their job prospects will be compromised should the marriage fail, making a financial bargain helps ease resentment on both parts. It can also designate who manages the children’s sports, schooling, and other activities.

Blended Families

Some parents want to dedicate assets to their birth children.

Vices

If a spouse has been causing heartache with drinking and gambling, the other can use a postnup to protect his or herself financially. It can list the conditions of a partner who has been cheated on to give the other another chance. Similarly, it can provide an incentive not to cheat.

For example, some tabloids claim that singer Justin Timberlake will pay actress Jessica Biel $500 million if he cheats, and that Catherine Zeta Jones allegedly gets $5 million if Michael Douglas falls to temptation. While we can’t verify this, we can say that these kinds of caveats exist in some pre- and postnuptial agreements.

Housework

Who takes care of household duties, upkeep, and repair are fair game.

Social Life

Evening the playing field on each partner’s time spent outside the marriage on social events can also be stipulated.

 

Why Bother if I Think We Are Headed for Divorce?

For those who acknowledge that the marriage may not be salvageable, it is a good time to put some controls into place while the parties are still talking. Since somewhere over 40 percent of marriages end in divorce, postnuptials can expedite the process if the couple has already laid the groundwork for financial and childrearing duties.

 

Why Involve a Family Lawyer

Like valuable marriage counseling, which encourages cooperation and good intent, having agreements in writing is another powerful tool to show good faith yet hold each party accountable. To hear more about how a postnuptial or prenuptial agreement can benefit you, please call the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock for a free consultation. He has helped couples smoothly navigate their family law issues for decades. Just call 909-466-7661 or complete the form below.

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How to Get a Child Support Order Enforced in California

Caring for children today is prohibitively expensive, and if you are entitled to child support that you’re not getting, you need help enforcing your rights. As you likely know, in California you’re entitled to child support until your child is eighteen years old or if he or she is still in high school, up to the age of nineteen.

Your court order for support specifies a start date and amount. You can bring this court order in to seek help with a local child support agency. Search the California Department of Child Services for FAQs and locations. If they can’t help you, there are legal options you can pursue.

 

Forcing a Parent to Pay

These are the different ways of seeking payments through punitive financial measures:

Wage Garnishment

A Notice/Order to Withhold Income for Child Support is one option. This is also referred to as a garnishment order, income withholding order, or wage assignment. It can be put into place by a private entity, a child support agency from a state other than California, or a local child support agency (LCSA). The perk of this is that payment is taken automatically from a parent’s paycheck, removing the step where he or she decides to pay you that month. You can call your local child support agency to find out more about wage garnishment.

License Suspension or Revocation

The threat of taking away legal permits like a drivers license can spur reluctant payers into finding the money.

Passport Penalties

Taking away the ability to leave the country by restricting passport renewal is another way to goad deadbeat parents into paying by impinging on their freedom.

Income Tax Intercepts

Instead of getting a fat tax refund check, the parent would be looking at a receipt for child support payment.

Credit Bureaus

Deadbeat parents get reported to credit bureaus, which then hampers their ability to get loans and mortgages. Knowing that their reputation and buying power could be tarnished can force their hand.

Contempt of Court

A parent who doesn’t pay can be fined or sentenced to jail time. You would seek a family lawyer and start a court case to use this method.

 

You Are Not Alone

According to a 2011 statistic, non-custodial California parents were 19.2 billion dollars in arrears in child support payments. The Office of the Inspector General of the Department of Health and Human Services takes keeping up with child support very seriously, its website lists “Most Wanted Deadbeat Parents” and asks for help finding delinquent parents here and even posts their pictures.

 

Help from a Rancho Cucamonga Child Support Attorney

The Law Office of Laurence J. Brock has over twenty-five years of experience helping parents navigate custody issues and other divorce and family law matters. When it comes to getting child support for our clients, our firm uses all of our contacts and knowledge of custody cases to turn deadbeat parents into paying participants. We can also help you renegotiate terms and visitation rights.

Contact us for a free, confidential consultation with no obligations. We’re always happy to help. Give us call at 909-466-7661 or complete our online contact form below.

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Five Tax Facts to Know When Divorcing

If you have recently gotten divorced or are currently involved in the process, one thing you need to think about is how you’re going to file your taxes. This is something that no one enjoys, and filing is made more complicated if you divorced during the past year.

You may want to engage a certified public accountant (CPA) to help you through this process, but in the meantime, here are some basic facts that you should know about filing taxes as a recently divorced person.

 

1. Know Your Filing Status

To file as a married person, you need to have been married for the entire year. If your divorce took place at any time during the year in question, you would file as a single person (assuming you haven’t already gotten married again). The exception to this is that you can file as head of household if you are a custodial parent.

 

2. Claim Children per the Divorce Decree

In your divorce decree, a judge will decide who gets to claim what child. If you only have one child, it may rotate every year. It is important that you follow the decree precisely to ensure that you do not get into trouble with the IRS in the event that both you and your ex claim the children on your taxes.

 

3. Know Your Deductions

If you pay child support, this is not tax-deductible—but alimony is. Likewise, if your support was deemed family support, the entire amount is tax deductible. Conversely, if you are receiving child support, you do not have to claim it as income, but you do have to claim alimony as income. You would also need to claim the entire amount of family support as income so that there is an actual tax strategy involved when completing your divorce.

 

4. You May Need a Form 8332

A judge may give you the ability to claim a child for the purpose of a tax exemption or credit, even if they live with you less than six months out of the year. To protect yourself, you should have your ex sign form 8832 to ensure that he or she does not also try to claim the child and create a red flag with the IRS.

 

5. Child Care Credits Can Save You Money

If you or your spouse were providing in-home care for your children during the marriage but are now both working, your kids may now be in daycare. In this case, there is a child care credit you may be eligible for. Just keep in mind that only the custodial parent can claim this credit.

 

Other Tax Considerations Related to Divorce

Something else to consider is that you may want to change your deductions on your W-4 form. When you are no longer married, you will have fewer deductions, and it is important to ensure that enough taxes are being withheld from your weekly or monthly paychecks. Otherwise, you could end up with a large tax bill at the end of the year.

Even if you typically file taxes on your own, it is wise to engage an accountant or CPA to guide you through the process the first year after your divorce. Once your taxes have been filed under your new status and you understand the exemptions and credits you qualify for, it will be easier to file on your own.

 

Help from a Rancho Cucamonga Divorce Attorney

It is also within your best interests to call 909-466-7661 or complete the form below to speak with the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock. We understand tax implications and how to protect your rights by ensuring that all necessary tax issues are addressed in the final divorce decree. Otherwise, ambiguity could lead to both future complications and disputes between you and your ex.

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Parental Rights in a Same-Sex Divorce

The American Bar Association estimates that roughly four million gay and lesbian parents are raising between six and ten million kids in our country. Under California law, same-sex married couples are supposed to have the same rights as heterosexual ones.

However, the courts are still figuring out how to handle cases that have different aspects than same-sex ones. Since legislation has changed many times and the laws and cases are new, both the California Courts and the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) suggest that same-sex parents establish their parentage legally with proper documentation.

 

Circumstances Vary in Same-Sex Marriages

Things can get tricky in divorces where the couple was together for years before marriage was even an option or decided on domestic partnership. There are also formalities having to do with where couples were married or lived. In cases where children came from a previous heterosexual marriage, gay and lesbian parents can face bias from judges who are not ideologically aligned with their lifestyle. And as California has seen with Proposition 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act, politicians can quickly take away what activists have worked so hard to achieve.

As with any custody case, the same criteria are evaluated: the child’s welfare and health; the relationship and caretaking duties of the parents; the presence of physical, drug, or alcohol abuse; and more. Unfortunately, however, things aren’t always so cut-and-dried.

 

Custody and Support Challenges

Many scenarios play out in same-sex divorces involving child custody. A non-biological parent can find his or herself out in the cold, heartbroken at being denied visitation rights to a child he or she nurtured since birth. Or a biological parent can suddenly find his or herself the sole parent as the other partner wants to give up parenting along with the partnership.

An in-depth analysis of parental responsibilities might be required if one partner is trying to paint the other as absent or uncaring. For instance, analyzing which partner spent more time caring for the children can be projected unfairly. One can appear to have committed less time when actually there may have been an agreement that one parent spend more time on career for the good of the family.

Of course, many couples want to split amicably, but the hard slog of determining visitation schedules and splitting expenses and other daily parenting duties can put strain on the most well-meaning of parents.

 

Consult a Rancho Cucamonga Same-Sex Divorce Attorney

As with all custody cases, it’s hard to separate the range of emotions a partner is feeling from what’s best for the child. Dealing with a separation or a divorce involving kids makes a confusing time even worse, and for same-sex couples, the process gets even more complicated.

If you are considering divorce, having a custody dispute, want to establish yourself as a legal parent or guardian, or have any other marriage-related legal issues, call Attorney Laurence J. Brock for a free consultation. He has been helping California clients resolve these issues for three decades and knows how to navigate the current same-sex marriage laws to help partners fight for their parental rights. Schedule your case evaluation by calling 909-466-7661 or by completing the form below.

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How to Prepare for a Divorce

Getting divorced is complicated. Unlike getting married, there is a long, set legal process that must be followed in order to unwind a marriage and the finances associated with it. In addition, having a strategy from the get-go is critical to protecting your rights and making it likely that the marriage resolves either equitably or in your favor.

With that in mind, it is wise to hire a family lawyer before you file for divorce and to start planning before announcing your intentions. Here are some tips to assist with the latter:

 

1. Gather All Income Documents and Find Out What Your Spouse Really Makes

Hiding income is common in divorce proceedings, but unless you can find evidence to prove it, the judge will likely accept the information presented. Protect yourself by gathering all income records, including commission statements, copies of bonus checks, profit sharing, and all other forms of income that you and your spouse have access to. This makes it possible to fact check what your spouse lists on the financial disclosure statements.

 

2. Open Your Own Bank Account and Credit Cards

If all of your accounts are joint, there is a possibility that your spouse will react to the divorce filing by trying to remove your name or by shutting them down. While inappropriate, it happens. The best way to protect yourself financially is to have access to capital that is in your name only. If you do not have any credit cards in your name only, opening one and using it becomes even more important for building your personal credit history.

 

3. Evaluate Your Family’s Debts

Review your credit card and loan balances with your spouse and then have a conversation about paying things off. If you have disposable income to do so, this will make the process of dividing debts far simpler. This is a particularly important strategy if you make less than your spouse, since a judge could divide your debts evenly, regardless of your earning capacity.

 

4. Copy Important Tax and Financial Documents

Make copies of your last three years’ tax returns, recent pay stubs, W-2s, bank statements, retirement account statements, and all other financial documents. You should also copy the deed of trust to any property you own, as well as the titles to your vehicles.

 

5. Make Sure You Are on the Title

You might be surprised to find that you are not on the title to a piece of property or vehicle. It happens all the time, and without being on the title, you will have an uphill battle enforcing your ownership rights. Protect yourself by being added to anything prior to filing for divorce.

 

6. Examine Your Ability to Earn an Income

Understanding what you can afford and what you need to live is important prior to divorcing. It will help determine if you will need alimony to maintain your lifestyle.

 

7. Inventory Your Household Belongings

Begin making a list of the property and belongings that you own. Everything from clothing to jewelry, from cookware to tools should be listed since it will all be divided later.

 

8. Consider Custody Plans

If you have children, consider whether you want full or joint custody and what an ideal custody or visitation arrangement might look like. While you might not get everything that you want, starting with a plan can improve your chances greatly.

 

Help from a Rancho Cucamonga Divorce Attorney

The most important step you can take in preparing for a divorce is meeting with a divorce attorney prior to filing or making your intentions clear. To schedule a free consultation with the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock, call 909-466-7661 or contact us online through the form on this page.

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The New Year Is a Good Time to End a Bad Marriage

If you feel like you’re stuck in a bad relationship, 2017 may be the year to make a change. Now that the holidays are over, it’s the perfect time to consider what you want out of life. What do you want going into the new year and can it happen within the confines of your current marriage? For many couples, the answer is unfortunately no.

While there is no perfect time to get a divorce, starting the process at the beginning of the year does have several benefits. First, people are mentally and emotionally conditioned to anticipate change when the new year comes. Whether the changes are large, like ending a relationship, or smaller, like losing weight, people anticipate that there will be adjustments to lifestyle, perspective, or relationships. This means that you may be more mentally and emotionally prepared to end a bad relationship today then you will be six months from now. Your mental preparedness, even subconsciously, can influence how well you handle a divorce.

Additionally, divorces take time to complete. It will take time for you to separate property, file for divorce, have hearings, go to court, and so on. It is not uncommon for a divorce to take six months to a year to complete. Starting one now will give you the opportunity to wrap everything up in 2017 so that you can begin 2018 with a new life and a fresh perspective.

 

Why Is It Good to End a Bad Relationship?

As a family law firm, we would never tell you what is right for your unique marriage. Whether you stay or leave is entirely up to you. However, there is scientific research to support ending a bad relationship. Researchers at Michigan State University studied 1,200 men and women over five years. They found that women in a bad marriage were at a greater risk of experiencing heart disease. In other words, a bad marriage really can break your heart.

A bad relationship can also cause enormous amounts of stress that can lead to anxiety, depression, and feelings of despair and hopelessness. This is not a good way to live!

To start 2017, you most likely have already made a resolution or two. How much more difficult will they be to uphold if you are fighting these negative emotions?

 

The Process of Getting Divorced

While you make the decision to end your marriage and get a divorce, it is important to understand how the process works and what you should expect. First, you should call our office and speak with a divorce attorney. Your former spouse is likely to retain his or her own attorney, so it is necessary to protect yourself by securing your own legal representation.

There are also a number of pitfalls that you might fall into if you don’t have a family law attorney looking out for your best interests. For example, if you want to have custody of the kids, you should remain in the family home. If you are worried that your spouse may try to cut you off financially, you can open a credit card in your own name and even open a separate savings account. These are things that we can discuss during your free consultation.

Once you have retained an attorney, the separation process can begin with the initial case filing and proceed on to negotiations, possibly going to trial later—if it becomes necessary. While a complex process, at the end of your divorce, you will be free of the negativity that is currently surrounding your marriage.

 

Contact a Rancho Cucamonga Divorce Attorney

To speak with a family lawyer about your options, call the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock at 909-466-7661 or complete the contact form below. Divorcing is a difficult decision to make, but starting 2017 by ridding yourself of a dysfunctional marriage could improve your life later and even open up new opportunities for happiness.

The post The New Year Is a Good Time to End a Bad Marriage appeared first on The Law Office of Laurence J. Brock.

Why It’s Important to Establish Paternity in California

California has specific rules regarding who can be considered a child’s parent. In many cases, these laws follow common sense. Most fathers know that they’re the father and don’t need the court to inform them.

There’s one scenario where the law can differ, however: If you are unmarried when the child is born, the state will not recognize you as the father. In this situation, the state will recognize the parental rights of the birth mother only. The way that you solve this problem is by establishing parentage through the court system or by completing the appropriate paperwork.

 

An Important Process

Parentage is how an unwed father can protect his legal right to parent his biological child. Establishing parentage requires completing paperwork and having a hearing before a judge— especially if the biological mother is contesting the relationship you have with your child. An experienced family law attorney can help you establish your parental rights and ensure all of the following:

• Your name is on the birth certificate
• You have custodial and visitation rights
• You can purchase health insurance for your child, make decisions regarding medical care, take part in school enrollment, and so on

Establishing parentage also gives your child specific rights such as the ability to inherit if you die, collect on your veterans or disability benefits, be on your health insurance policy, have access to family medical records, and similar things.

 

Verbal Understandings Are Not Enough

It may seem strange, but you could live in the same household as your child and everyone could understand that you are the parent, but it is still not enough to guarantee either your rights or your child’s. For example, it is unlikely that you could enroll the child in school without being listed on the birth certificate.

If you and the biological mother separate without parentage being established, you could not immediately seek custody or visitation rights. You would first need to go through the process of establishing parentage, delaying the process.

Additionally, if you were to die, your child would not have rights as one of your heirs, even after knowing that you were the father. This is not a situation you want to place your grieving child in.

 

Cases of Conflict

If there is a dispute regarding parentage, one parent may still petition the court, and a DNA test may be ordered. Once the results are in, parentage can be established, even on protest.

 

Child Support

Once the court identifies both parents, if they separate or divorce, child support can be established after evaluating the income of both parties along with the custody situation. Without parentage, the court cannot enter an order of child support.

 

Help from a Rancho Cucamonga Family Law Attorney

Legally establishing parentage is a necessary and important step in exercising your parental rights. Nothing should interfere with the bond between parent and child, and you deserve be involved in your child’s life. For help establishing paternity and resolving any other family law issues, contact the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock. To schedule a free consultation, call 909-466-7661 or reach us online through the form on this page.

The post Why It’s Important to Establish Paternity in California appeared first on The Law Office of Laurence J. Brock.

The New Year Is a Good Time to End a Bad Marriage

If you feel like you’re stuck in a bad relationship, 2017 may be the year to make a change. Now that the holidays are over, it’s the perfect time to consider what you want out of life. What do you want going into the new year and can it happen within the confines of your current marriage? For many couples, the answer is, unfortunately, no.

While there is no perfect time to get a divorce, starting the process at the beginning of the year does have several benefits. First, people are mentally and emotionally conditioned to anticipate change when the new year comes. Whether the changes are large, like ending a relationship, or smaller, like losing weight, people anticipate that there will be adjustments to lifestyle, perspective, or relationships. This means that you may be more mentally and emotionally prepared to end a bad relationship today then you will be six months from now. Your mental preparedness, even subconsciously, can influence how well you handle a divorce.

Additionally, divorces take time to complete. It will take time for you to separate property, file for divorce, have hearings, go to court, and so on. It is not uncommon for a divorce to take six months to a year to complete. Starting one now will give you the opportunity to wrap everything up in 2017 so that you can begin 2018 with a new life and a fresh perspective.

 

Why Is It Good to End a Bad Relationship?

As a family law firm, we would never tell you what is right for your unique marriage. Whether you stay or leave is entirely up to you. However, there is scientific research to support ending a bad relationship. Researchers at Michigan State University studied 1,200 men and women over five years. They found that women in a bad marriage were at a greater risk of experiencing heart disease. In other words, a bad marriage really can break your heart.

A bad relationship can also cause enormous amounts of stress that can lead to anxiety, depression, and feelings of despair and hopelessness. This is not a good way to live!

To start 2017, you most likely have already made a resolution or two. How much more difficult will they be to uphold if you are fighting these negative emotions?

 

The Process of Getting Divorced

While you make the decision to end your marriage and get a divorce, it is important to understand how the process works and what you should expect. First, you should call our office and speak with a divorce attorney. Your former spouse is likely to retain his or her own attorney, so it is necessary to protect yourself by securing your own legal representation.

There are also a number of pitfalls that you might fall into if you don’t have a family law attorney looking out for your best interests. For example, if you want to have custody of the kids, you should remain in the family home. If you are worried that your spouse may try to cut you off financially, you can open a credit card in your own name and even open a separate savings account. These are things that we can discuss during your free consultation.

Once you have retained an attorney, the separation process can begin with the initial case filing and proceed on to negotiations, possibly going to trial later—if it becomes necessary. While a complex process, at the end of your divorce, you will be free of the negativity that is currently surrounding your marriage.

 

Contact a Rancho Cucamonga Divorce Attorney

To speak with a family lawyer about your options, call the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock at 909-466-7661 or complete the contact form below. Divorcing is a difficult decision to make, but starting 2017 by ridding yourself of a dysfunctional marriage could improve your life later and even open up new opportunities for happiness.

The post The New Year Is a Good Time to End a Bad Marriage appeared first on The Law Office of Laurence J. Brock.

Reasons to Request Alimony or Child Support Adjustments

It is possible, although difficult, to get your alimony or child support order adjusted after your divorce. This is typically an uphill battle, so hiring an experienced family law attorney will make the process easier and more likely to succeed.

For an adjustment to be considered, you must prove one of the following:

• There has been a significant change in financial circumstances since the initial order was entered by the court.
• The needs of the child have changed.

 

Financial Reasons to Request a Change in Support

You can petition the court to have spousal support or child support adjusted based on a change in either your or your ex’s financial circumstances. Listed below are just a few of the situations that might qualify:

• Job loss or a severe reduction in hours being worked
• New children being born and requiring support
• The paying spouse retiring
• A new job that will result in an increase in income

 

Health Reasons to Request a Support Change

If the person paying alimony or child support is facing severe health problems, unable to work, or paying expensive medical bills, there may be justification to request a temporary change in the payments being made. You will need to demonstrate why this is necessary, and a judge will ultimately decide how to proceed.

 

Changes in a Child’s Circumstances

Child support is set during the divorce, but as children grow, their needs may change. It is possible that they will require additional educational support, have a unique opportunity, be heavily involved in sports, or require medical care that was unnecessary at the time of the divorce.

Any of these circumstances could require increased financial support from both parents, and child support will need to be adjusted accordingly. In this case, it is typically the custodial parent who will bring the request before the court, but either parent can.

 

Miscellaneous Reasons to Adjust Support Agreements

It is also common to request changes in alimony or child support arrangements if the spouse receiving support has remarried or is purposefully not working.

 

The Adjustment Process

You can make alimony or child support changes in one of two ways: You and your ex-spouse can either agree to the change or petition the court and have a judge decide. If you can agree to an adjustment, this can save a significant amount of time, but you should still have an attorney draw up the new agreement and present it to the court for final legal approval. Without a judge’s signature, your changes won’t be valid.

If you cannot agree, you must petition the court to have the changes made. Your ex-spouse will need to be formally heard, a date set for the hearing, and arguments made before a judge. Working with an attorney will make it much easier for you to present your case, demonstrate its strength, and successfully argue why your request should be granted. A judge will make the final ruling after hearing from everyone, so it is important to prepare a strong and valid argument.

 

Consult a Rancho Cucamonga Family Law Attorney

Getting a fair alimony or child support plan isn’t easy, and getting adjustments approved later can be an equal challenge. The Law Office of Laurence J. Brock can help you demonstrate your need for a change before the court and give you the best chance for success. To get started with a free, no-obligation consultation, give us a call at 909-466-7661 or reach us through the contact form below.

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