What Can Child Support in California Be Used For?

The purpose of child support is to provide for all the costs associated with raising a child in an appropriate manner. Kids aren’t cheap. They need the basic necessities of a safe home environment and physical care, of course, but there are many other costs of raising them.

Child support payments are usually provided to the parent the child spends the most time with. Both parents are considered responsible for financially supporting their child, but when one parent lives with the child more than the other, that parent may have the burden of providing more financial support for the child’s happiness and wellbeing.

Child support payments are meant to offset an unequal financial balance between the parents. But what exactly can child support payments be used for in California?

What Can You Use Child Support Payments For?

Ideally, all child support payments would go directly toward the care and support of the child and would not be used for any other reason. Here’s a look at what child support payments are meant to pay for:

• The Cost of School – School costs vary, but even with public schools, there are expenses, such as school supplies, field trips, school activities, and special events.
• Extracurricular Activities – Out-of-school activities are good for the wellbeing and health of children, but they nearly always have fees associated with them.
• Entertainment Activities – Basic entertainment costs are considered a part of raising a child, and although they’re not technically a necessity, the courts still deem entertainment important to a child’s wellbeing.
• Clothing – One of the more expensive costs of raising children is providing clothing for them because they constantly grow out of their clothes.
• Food – Child support can be used to purchase school lunches and groceries for the child.
• Shelter – Rent or mortgage payments can be made using child support.
• Utilities – Electricity, water, sewage, gas, and all other utilities can be paid using money from child support payments.
• Medical Care – All medical expenses for the child, including co-pays, medications, hospital bills, and more, can be paid with child support.
• Transportation Costs – Any costs associated with transporting the child, such as gas and vehicle maintenance, can be paid with child support funds.
• Child Care – The cost of caregiving services for the child while the parents are working can be paid via child support.
• College – Child support usually ends when the child is eighteen, but some college expenses can be paid for prior to the child’s eighteenth birthday.

Call a Child Support Lawyer in Rancho Cucamonga

If you have more questions about what child support in California can be used for, or if you would like to modify an existing child support agreement, speak with an attorney at our office. Your attorney will fight to protect your rights and to make certain that the child support agreement is fair for both parties.

To speak with an attorney from the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock, call 909-466-7661. You can also complete the contact form on this page. We will discuss your child support case with you during an initial consultation.

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Custody Mediation with a Narcissist

Custody issues can get nasty under the best of circumstances, but when you’re dealing with a parent who has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), the situation is likely to become a battlefield—with your children on the front lines.

What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

People diagnosed with NPD are obsessed with themselves, just like the Greek god Narcissus, who fell in love with his own reflection. That’s where the term came from.

Parents who have narcissistic tendencies believe the world revolves around them. They care only for themselves, their status, and how others perceive them. They lack empathy for others—even their own children—and they will use anyone around them for their personal gain.

Narcissistic Parents Can Traumatize Children

What are the two things children want most in the world? Their parents’ love and attention.

When one parent has time only for number one, the children suffer. They spend their time trying to gain that parent’s attention and approval, having no idea that they could never truly please the parent.

You would think that someone who’s that worried about his or her own magnificence wouldn’t have time to battle for child custody, but think again. Those with narcissistic personality disorder often see their children as an extension of themselves, rather than as individuals, and they may fight ferociously to keep them.

Part of the reason they do this is because they hate losing, even though they care little, if at all, for their children’s true happiness. They aren’t likely to give up their children without a fight, so get ready. Harder still is the fact that people with NPD can mask their behaviors, putting on a front as the perfect parent.

They think of divorce as a game or a challenge they’re determined to win because they’re better than you. It probably sounds hopeless. How can you possibly come to an agreement on custody issues in mediation with someone like that? But don’t give up yet.

How to Reach a Custody Agreement with a Narcissist

This will be very difficult, but it is possible. Here are a few tips that may help you reach a custody agreement during mediation, rather than taking the case to court:

• Contact a good lawyer familiar with narcissistic behavior.
• Limit contact with your ex as much as possible, ideally only communicating during the mediation process. Those with NPD may want to agitate you to force you to make mistakes.
• Avoid playing the game, if at all possible.
• Remain as calm as you can. The only way to win against a narcissist is to take away the control he or she has over you.
• Document everything. Sometimes, the only proof you have of a narcissist’s behavior is your word against his or hers, so you’ll need to have hard evidence to back up what you’re saying.

A Custody Mediation Attorney Can Help

Unfortunately, even when you’ve done everything possible to reach a reasonable custody agreement with a narcissist, he or she can decide it would be better to burn everything down than let you “win.” That’s when a family law attorney from the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock can help you take your custody case to court.  

Contact us to schedule a free consultation and discuss your case. Fill out the form below or call 909-466-7661.

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How to Prepare for a Consultation with a Family Law Attorney

Whether you’re considering filing for a divorce or you’ve already begun the process, a family lawyer can help you in many ways. We can protect your rights, give you advice on the entire divorce process, and represent you in court.

When preparing for your initial consultation, you may be wondering what to bring with you. When it comes to a consultation with a family lawyer, the more information, the better. Your attorney will be better able to advise you on your case if he or she has all the pertinent information regarding your case.

The Basics

Your family attorney will need the following basic pieces of information in your initial consultation:

• Details about you
• Information on your spouse, including where he or she works
• Important aspects of your relationship, including details about the personalities and behaviors of you and your spouse
• Information on any domestic violence, substance abuse, or mental health issues pertinent to your case
• Whether there are children involved

Some Documents to Bring with You

If possible, go ahead and bring in some of the paperwork you will need to complete for your divorce anyway, such as the Schedule of Assets and Debts form and the Income and Expense Declaration form. Complete these forms as fully and accurately as possible. You can also bring in financial information, such as:

• Pay stubs
• Assets
• Tax returns
• Self-employment documents
• Bank statements
• Prenuptial agreements

Have Your Questions Ready

It’s easy to get sidetracked during a conversation and forget to ask the questions that are most important to you. If you have a list with you, you’ll be able to verify that all your questions have been answered. Write them down now. Here’s an idea of what you should ask your attorney during the consultation:

• How long will it take to resolve my case?
• Should I consider mediation?
• Based on what you know about my case, how do you think a judge will rule?
• How much do your services cost?
• How long have you practiced family law?
• How long do you take to return phone calls?

Come Ready to Share All the Info

Not every divorce is brought about because one spouse was being horrible to the other. Sometimes, couples just go their separate ways. However, in some divorces, one spouse’s behavior could significantly affect the divorce process, alimony, and child custody issues.

For example, if domestic violence was involved and you have proof, you should bring your evidence to the initial consultation. Other types of information that could help your case are listed below:

• Evidence of family violence
• Evidence of substance abuse or mental health issues
• Proof your spouse was trying to hide financial information from you
• Criminal history information
• Evidence a spouse was cheating
• Proof that a spouse is an unfit parent

Schedule a Consultation with a Family Lawyer

You’re now prepared to discuss your family law case with an attorney. Set up your free, confidential case discussion with a family lawyer at the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock. Call us at 909-466-7661 or fill out the online contact form at the bottom of the page to get started.

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Is There a Connection Between Profession and Divorce?

Most of us will admit that our employment can play a role in our personal lives. For instance, if you work a very demanding job that often takes priority over time spent with your spouse, consequences are likely. We would all like to have a good work-life balance, but some professions just don’t allow for that.

Certain professions are notorious for causing trouble at home. Example: If your dream is to be a doctor and your work requires odd hours or overtime, your profession could indirectly lead to divorce. Studies have demonstrated a link between the work you do and an increased likelihood of divorce.

Which Jobs Are More Likely to Lead to Divorce?

Just because your profession is linked to a higher rate of divorce doesn’t mean you and your spouse will be calling it quits. Many couples have creative ways of making their relationships work, despite any added strain their employment may put on them.

To give you an idea, some couples understand that, if one spouse’s employment means less time spent together, they can bond by making the time they do have together really count. Other couples are more adept at working through any issues they may have, whether the issues are related to employment or not.

Recently, a career-focused website analyzed U.S. Census Bureau data and found that the following jobs and industries had the highest rates of divorce:

• Military workers
• Auto service technicians and mechanics
• Chemical technicians
• Food preparation and service workers
• Nonfarm animal caretakers
• Library assistants and clerical workers
• Engineering technicians
• Other technicians
• Medical assistants
• Carpenters
• Administrative service managers
• Probation officers and correctional treatment specialists
• Tax examiners, collectors, and revenue agents

How Your Job Can Affect Your Personal Life

Some jobs can require one spouse to work odd hours or more than forty hours a week, but that’s not the only way your profession can place strain on your relationship.

Your chosen career can lead to one or more of the following issues, increasing the chances of divorce:

• High-stress jobs can cause the worker to bring that stress home, where it affects the family.
• Certain jobs can cause vicarious trauma in employees (emergency workers, firefighters, law enforcement officers, etc.), leading to isolation, substance abuse, or depression.
• Some job types may not pay well enough to create a stable financial life for the family, which can easily cause strain and disputes.

A Family Law Attorney Can Help You

You can interpret job data and divorce rates in a number of ways, and while it does appear that a poor work-life balance can increase the chances of divorce, additional factors are almost always involved.

Regardless of what has caused you to believe divorce or legal separation is necessary for you and your spouse, a family lawyer can help you get through the proceedings. Contact the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock to discuss your case for free. Evaluations with a divorce attorney are always confidential. Call 909-466-7661 or fill out the form below.

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Helping Kids Through a Divorce

Divorce is an emotional time no matter the circumstances, but when kids are involved, it’s usually a lot more difficult. Maybe you and your spouse tried to make it work for the kids’ sake, but you’ve finally decided it’s in everyone’s best interests to go your separate ways. Now you must figure out how to break the news to the kids.

Helping kids through a divorce is tough, but it’s not impossible.

Breaking the News

There’s no getting around it—this will be one of the hardest conversations you’ll ever have. Still, like all scary things, if you practice beforehand, you will feel a lot better and more equipped to answer your children’s questions. The following are some things to keep in mind when breaking the news:

• Be clear that you and your spouse have decided to live apart.
• Explain that it’s not the child’s fault, and reiterate this many times.
• Tell your child that parents can’t divorce their kids and that both parents will still be in the child’s life.
• Don’t blame each other for the divorce during this conversation, opting instead to say things like, “Mommy and Daddy can’t seem to agree anymore.”
• Make sure the discussion fits the age and maturity level of your child.

Minimize the Negative Impact

You can do many things to help your child get through a divorce with the most positive outcome possible. The most important thing is to make sure your child doesn’t feel responsible for the divorce. Here are a few other musts if you want to minimize the effects of divorce on your child’s happiness:

• Don’t fight or discuss the legal aspects of your divorce around the child. Ever.
• Keep the child’s daily routine as stable as possible.
• If you can manage it, keep both parents actively involved in the child’s life.
• Let your child know that sad feelings are OK. He or she doesn’t have to put on a brave face.
• Make sure your child knows you will always be there for him or her.

Be Prepared to Answer Some Questions

It’s only natural that your child will have a lot of questions. Some of these questions will not be easy to answer, and you should think carefully before you do. You don’t want to lie, but you also don’t want to start blaming the other spouse for the divorce or telling your child things that aren’t age-appropriate.

For example, if your child asks why you are getting a divorce, don’t say it’s your spouse’s fault. Simply say that the two of you weren’t able to get along. Here are some of the questions you should be ready to answer:

• Are we moving?
• Where will I live?
• Am I still going to the same school?
• Is it something I did?
• Can I still see my friends?
• Will I still get to see you?
• Where will I go for holidays?

Work with a Rancho Cucamonga Divorce Attorney

Helping kids through a divorce will be difficult—there’s no denying that. But it can be made easier by preparing for it beforehand and putting your child’s feelings first. If you are going through a divorce, you may want to consult with a family lawyer who can help ensure your interests are looked after and answer family legal questions.

Call the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock to discuss your divorce case for free during an initial consultation. You can use the form below or call 909-466-7661 to get in touch.

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Online Dating and Divorce

There are all kinds of theories out there on whether online dating is more likely to lead to divorce. The truth is that the research is still too contradictory and speculative to be able to draw any reliable conclusions.

For example, a recent study on online dating and divorce states that divorce is less likely if you’ve met your partner online than if you went the traditional route. However, other sources suggest otherwise.

With so many conflicting opinions out there, what are you supposed to believe?

Online Dating Can Be a Good Option

While some researchers claim that online dating leads to “casual” dating and more affairs, others say it depends on your goals. Yes, you can meet people online with no intention of establishing a long-lasting relationship, but sometimes your intentions can change.

Once you meet someone and get to know him or her, the person becomes part of your social network. It also turns out that where you meet someone doesn’t really matter as much as how you treat each other during the relationship. If you are unable to find a partner the traditional way, then online dating is often a good option.

What Factors Lead to Divorce?

If online dating isn’t really that big of a deal when it comes to factors that lead to divorce, then what does cause couples to break up? Here are a few common factors:

• Adultery – Cheating is still one of the top reasons couples get divorced. This situation is difficult to overcome and is a common reason couples can’t work things out. One way to move past the mistrust adultery can cause in a marriage is to seek help from a counselor.
• Financial Stress – Finances are a big cause of conflict in relationships. When a couple is not on the same page financially (one is a good saver and the other is a big-ticket spender, for example), this can lead to cracks in the marriage that are difficult to mend. Seeing a financial planner can help get both people to see eye to eye.
• Work Stress – Work-related stress is another big problem in marriages, as is the time spent away from one another. When one person in the relationship has overwhelming work obligations, this can slowly drive a couple apart because they aren’t making time for each other. Regular date nights can help bring a couple back together.
• Depression – When one party in a relationship suffers from depression, especially undiagnosed depression, it can put incredible strain on the other party. One minute, the person can seem happy, and the next minute, he or she is going through intense mood swings. The other party in the relationship can grow resentful over time.
• Addictions – Addictions can be incredibly stressful for both people in a marriage. Getting over an addition is a long, hard road, and couples can begin to lose touch with one another during the battle. The important thing is to keep reaching out and trying to connect. Therapy can help a couple get through addiction.

Call the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock

Online dating doesn’t necessarily lead to divorce and is a good option for couples that want to look outside of their own small network for a partner. To avoid divorce, you must work hard to maintain your relationship. Sometimes, though, no matter how much you work at it, relationships can still fall apart.  

If you need help with a divorce or separation in California, call the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock. We will provide you with sensitive and informed legal advice and assistance to help you get through the divorce process as painlessly as possible. Call us at 909-466-7661 or complete the form below for a free consultation.

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How to Prepare for a Divorce Hearing

Even the most amicable divorce is stressful, but a contested divorce can be much more so. Court is intimidating no matter what reason you have to be there, but the more prepared you are, the less scary it will be. Organization and preparation are the keys to a more positive hearing, so make sure you follow these steps when preparing for court.

Get Your Documents in Order

The whole point of a divorce hearing is for a judge to help you and your spouse divide your assets fairly. That’s why it’s imperative that you gather all your documents ahead of time and spend plenty of time reviewing the information. You want to be able to answer all the judge’s questions easily.

The documents you will need to gather are any and all that pertain to your debts, income, and assets. If children are involved, you may need to provide additional documentation of your child’s expenses and specific information pertaining to your parenting skills.

Know the Laws

Your attorney will assist you with this step. He or she will help you understand California laws that relate to the division of assets and child custody. Still, it can’t hurt to review California’s divorce laws. Then, if you have any questions, ask your attorney.

Dress Appropriately

Make sure you dress appropriately for court. You don’t have to wear a suit or extremely formal apparel, but be sure that you look like you are taking this hearing seriously. Yes, you are judged by your appearance—we all are. Make sure you are wearing business attire, and try not to wear anything with wrinkles or holes.

Always Remain Calm in Court

One of the most difficult aspects of a divorce is the emotional state it leaves you in. Controlling your emotions is a difficult skill for anyone to master, but it is important when you are standing in a courtroom.

Even if a ruling doesn’t go the way you hoped, you must remain calm. If you don’t, you risk leaving the judge feeling like you aren’t a fit parent.

Contact the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock

When preparing for a divorce hearing, you could benefit from a divorce lawyer’s guidance. Call an attorney from the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock. We have over twenty-five years of experience working with difficult family law cases. Use the contact form below or call us today at 909-466-7661 to get started.

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