Post-Divorce Tips

By the time the final divorce papers are signed, most people are emotionally and mentally drained. While working with a family attorney makes the legal process easier, it can’t erase the emotional impact of separating from your spouse.

Whether getting divorced left you feeling worn down, depressed, or excited but unsure of what to do next, these tips can help you make the most of the new life that’s before you.

 

1. Take Time to Feel Sad

Even if you wanted the divorce or annulment, you’re likely to feel a sense of loss and maybe even a sense of failure along with it.

This is part of the grieving process, and you have to go through it to move forward. Allow yourself time to feel sad, talk about it with friends and family, and don’t feel guilty for grieving.

While it may not make sense on paper to feel sad about losing someone who wasn’t right for you, it’s perfectly normal to feel sad anyway. Just don’t get stuck there. Speak with a therapist if necessary so you can properly grieve and then move forward.

 

2. Be Proud of Yourself

Divorces can leave one or both people feeling insecure. Rather than letting all the self-criticism sink in, take time to be proud of yourself.

You made it through the divorce and are back out on your own. That alone is something to be proud of. Now, take some time alone to identify other aspects of your personality that you’re proud of.

Focus on those things—not what your ex-spouse said about you.

 

3. Do What You Love

Did you give up your favorite hobbies, vacation spots, or restaurants because your ex didn’t like them? Now is the time to pick them back up again.

Even if it’s something simple like going for a jog in the morning or buying season tickets to cheer on your favorite team, doing what you love again will help you feel like your old self and enjoy life in the process.

 

4. Decide What You Want

Near the end of a relationship, both sides tend to spend time attempting to make the other happy. Then, during the divorce, it’s about survival and keeping your head above water.

In both circumstances, doing what you want is typically off the table. Other things are vying for attention. Now that the divorce is over, you can consider what you want out of each day and what you want out of your life.

This is an excellent time to consider changing careers, going back to school, moving to the beach like you always wanted, or taking a month off for vacation. Use the divorce as an opportunity to recreate yourself in a way that makes you happy.

 

5. Be with Loved Ones

Surround yourself with positive people who you love and who love you back. These people could be your kids, friends, family members, or even colleagues.

After the toxicity of a divorce, being around positive and loving people can help you refocus on the joy in your life.

 

You Can Do This

You made it through the divorce. No matter how difficult it became, you did it, and now is the time to celebrate that achievement—and your new life.

If you have any lingering legal issues after your divorce, call the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock at 909-466-7661 or fill out the online contact form below.

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What Happens During a Child Custody Hearing?

Going to court isn’t easy, especially when you’re dealing with custody matters. Not much is more emotional than fighting for custody of your children. How much time you get with them is on the line, and how a judge rules could impact your time with them until they turn eighteen.

That’s why it’s critically important that you hire an experienced family lawyer to represent you and that you rigorously prepare for your case.

Before You Go to Court

The process begins before you go to court. Your attorney will need to prepare documents requesting a custody hearing, proposing a certain schedule, and explaining why the court should grant it. These pre-trial steps will require you to do the following:

1) Discuss Your Objectives with Your Lawyer

In matters of custody, everyone has to give up something because a judge will normally want children to see both parents. That means that, under the best circumstances, you will be awarded primary custody while the other parent is awarded visitation or supervised visitation.

Consider what you are willing to give up and discuss this with your lawyer so it can be included in your proposal. Going into the hearing offering zero visitation will make you look unreasonable and could hurt you in the long run.

2) Gather Evidence

Any evidence that demonstrates how you provide stability and consistency for your children can be helpful. For example, if you can show that your home is in their school district or you take them to their weekly sports activities, a judge may see why it is important for them to spend time in your care.

What to Expect

During the hearing, your attorney will present your requests to the judge. The other parent’s attorney will also present his or her case. Both sides may call witnesses and ask them questions. Your attorney will speak on your behalf, so you will only need to speak if you are called to testify.

A judge will listen to testimony and may ask direct questions if something needs to be clarified. In some custody cases, a guardian ad litem will be appointed to meet with the children, watch how both parents interact with them, and create a report for the judge to review. This report is used as a third-party opinion on what custody arrangement would be in the best interest of the children.

Once the judge has reviewed all evidence and listened to testimony, he or she will deliberate and make a custody decision—usually on the same day as the hearing. The judge’s ruling will then be put into a final order, and both parents will need to abide by it.

Hire a Family Lawyer

To speak with a qualified Rancho Cucamonga child custody lawyer, call the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock at 909-466-7661.

 

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Types of Child Visitation Orders in California

Nothing is more important than the relationship between a parent and his or her child. While nearly all parents would like to have full custody of their children, this isn’t always possible, especially when a divorce is involved. Other factors might also come into play, making even joint custody unavailable and leaving some parents with visitation as their only option.

If this is your situation, it’s important to understand the differences between the various types of visitation that are available in California. By understanding your options, you can determine if you might have a better option available than your current situation, or simply know what to push for if you have an upcoming divorce or custody dispute.

Scheduled Visitation

Scheduled child visitation orders are perhaps the most common form. With this type of visitation order, the parents, their family law attorneys, and the courts work out a visitation schedule that must be adhered to throughout the calendar year. This also usually includes planning for special occasions and holidays.

There are a number of benefits with this type of plan. In particular, it eliminates miscommunication and potential conflicts because everything is planned out well in advance. This is particularly beneficial if you no longer get along with the other parent and want to minimize arguments and other difficulties.

Reasonable Visitation

This type of visitation order is much more open-ended and really doesn’t have much that’s set in stone. The parents are essentially expected to schedule visitation as they go along and to work things out amongst themselves.

Obviously, reasonable visitation should only be considered if the parents either still get along or are able to set their differences aside and communicate effectively. If things become rocky, it can be better for all involved (especially the kids) if scheduled visitation is employed instead.

Supervised Visitation

Supervised visitation is usually employed in one of two scenarios. In its most common form, it’s used because the court feels that the visiting parent cannot be fully trusted with the child’s safety. This is often due to a criminal conviction involving a violent crime or a sex offense, but it could be due to a number of other factors, as well.

The second scenario is more benign. In this situation, the visiting parent may have been estranged from the child for some reason, and the two need a period of supervised visitation to become comfortable with each other. This can eventually lead to reasonable or scheduled visitation.

Connect with a Rancho Cucamonga Visitation Rights Lawyer

When custody isn’t an option, a child visitation order can be beneficial to everyone involved. You want to make certain that the visitation order you receive is the best one possible, however, which is where the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock comes in.

We have extensive experience helping parents negotiate child visitation, whether that negotiation involves the other parent, another attorney, or the courts. We can help you get the schedule that would be best for both you and the kids. It starts with a free consultation, so give us a call at 909-466-7661 or simply complete the contact form below.

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Why Get a Postnuptial Agreement?

The Wall Street Journal says postnuptial agreements are on the rise. Just like a “prenup,” a “postnup” is used to lay out the assets and liabilities of a couple and designate who gets what in a divorce or after the death of one spouse. The difference is that a postnuptial agreement is created after a couple gets married (or becomes domestic partners) and smooths the hurdles to marital bliss that arise as the honeymoon wears off.

Differing opinions on financial matters and the division of household and parenting duties cause impasses in the best marriages. And in more trying situations, resentment, passive aggressive standoffs, screaming matches, and feelings of being taken advantage of lead to the familiar “I can’t do this anymore” divorce refrain.

By clearing these roadblocks, couples can get back to enjoying why they paired up in the first place. Many couples have said that the process of examining their finances and daily duties and airing their concerns with the help of a mediator was cathartic.

 

Some Common Postnup Topics

Along with sorting out finances, the couple can include anything that enhances their sense of peace and security. Some common topics include the following:

Possessions and Inheritance

Family antiques, collections, and anything of personal value can be assigned to one spouse legally. In the event of a divorce or death, this angle would already be covered.

Child Rearing

If one spouse reluctantly gives up a career for the good of the family and fears their job prospects will be compromised should the marriage fail, making a financial bargain helps ease resentment on both parts. It can also designate who manages the children’s sports, schooling, and other activities.

Blended Families

Some parents want to dedicate assets to their birth children.

Vices

If a spouse has been causing heartache with drinking and gambling, the other can use a postnup to protect his or herself financially. It can list the conditions of a partner who has been cheated on to give the other another chance. Similarly, it can provide an incentive not to cheat.

For example, some tabloids claim that singer Justin Timberlake will pay actress Jessica Biel $500 million if he cheats, and that Catherine Zeta Jones allegedly gets $5 million if Michael Douglas falls to temptation. While we can’t verify this, we can say that these kinds of caveats exist in some pre- and postnuptial agreements.

Housework

Who takes care of household duties, upkeep, and repair are fair game.

Social Life

Evening the playing field on each partner’s time spent outside the marriage on social events can also be stipulated.

 

Why Bother if I Think We Are Headed for Divorce?

For those who acknowledge that the marriage may not be salvageable, it is a good time to put some controls into place while the parties are still talking. Since somewhere over 40 percent of marriages end in divorce, postnuptials can expedite the process if the couple has already laid the groundwork for financial and childrearing duties.

 

Why Involve a Family Lawyer

Like valuable marriage counseling, which encourages cooperation and good intent, having agreements in writing is another powerful tool to show good faith yet hold each party accountable. To hear more about how a postnuptial or prenuptial agreement can benefit you, please call the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock for a free consultation. He has helped couples smoothly navigate their family law issues for decades. Just call 909-466-7661 or complete the form below.

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How to Get a Child Support Order Enforced in California

Caring for children today is prohibitively expensive, and if you are entitled to child support that you’re not getting, you need help enforcing your rights. As you likely know, in California you’re entitled to child support until your child is eighteen years old or if he or she is still in high school, up to the age of nineteen.

Your court order for support specifies a start date and amount. You can bring this court order in to seek help with a local child support agency. Search the California Department of Child Services for FAQs and locations. If they can’t help you, there are legal options you can pursue.

 

Forcing a Parent to Pay

These are the different ways of seeking payments through punitive financial measures:

Wage Garnishment

A Notice/Order to Withhold Income for Child Support is one option. This is also referred to as a garnishment order, income withholding order, or wage assignment. It can be put into place by a private entity, a child support agency from a state other than California, or a local child support agency (LCSA). The perk of this is that payment is taken automatically from a parent’s paycheck, removing the step where he or she decides to pay you that month. You can call your local child support agency to find out more about wage garnishment.

License Suspension or Revocation

The threat of taking away legal permits like a drivers license can spur reluctant payers into finding the money.

Passport Penalties

Taking away the ability to leave the country by restricting passport renewal is another way to goad deadbeat parents into paying by impinging on their freedom.

Income Tax Intercepts

Instead of getting a fat tax refund check, the parent would be looking at a receipt for child support payment.

Credit Bureaus

Deadbeat parents get reported to credit bureaus, which then hampers their ability to get loans and mortgages. Knowing that their reputation and buying power could be tarnished can force their hand.

Contempt of Court

A parent who doesn’t pay can be fined or sentenced to jail time. You would seek a family lawyer and start a court case to use this method.

 

You Are Not Alone

According to a 2011 statistic, non-custodial California parents were 19.2 billion dollars in arrears in child support payments. The Office of the Inspector General of the Department of Health and Human Services takes keeping up with child support very seriously, its website lists “Most Wanted Deadbeat Parents” and asks for help finding delinquent parents here and even posts their pictures.

 

Help from a Rancho Cucamonga Child Support Attorney

The Law Office of Laurence J. Brock has over twenty-five years of experience helping parents navigate custody issues and other divorce and family law matters. When it comes to getting child support for our clients, our firm uses all of our contacts and knowledge of custody cases to turn deadbeat parents into paying participants. We can also help you renegotiate terms and visitation rights.

Contact us for a free, confidential consultation with no obligations. We’re always happy to help. Give us call at 909-466-7661 or complete our online contact form below.

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Five Tax Facts to Know When Divorcing

If you have recently gotten divorced or are currently involved in the process, one thing you need to think about is how you’re going to file your taxes. This is something that no one enjoys, and filing is made more complicated if you divorced during the past year.

You may want to engage a certified public accountant (CPA) to help you through this process, but in the meantime, here are some basic facts that you should know about filing taxes as a recently divorced person.

 

1. Know Your Filing Status

To file as a married person, you need to have been married for the entire year. If your divorce took place at any time during the year in question, you would file as a single person (assuming you haven’t already gotten married again). The exception to this is that you can file as head of household if you are a custodial parent.

 

2. Claim Children per the Divorce Decree

In your divorce decree, a judge will decide who gets to claim what child. If you only have one child, it may rotate every year. It is important that you follow the decree precisely to ensure that you do not get into trouble with the IRS in the event that both you and your ex claim the children on your taxes.

 

3. Know Your Deductions

If you pay child support, this is not tax-deductible—but alimony is. Likewise, if your support was deemed family support, the entire amount is tax deductible. Conversely, if you are receiving child support, you do not have to claim it as income, but you do have to claim alimony as income. You would also need to claim the entire amount of family support as income so that there is an actual tax strategy involved when completing your divorce.

 

4. You May Need a Form 8332

A judge may give you the ability to claim a child for the purpose of a tax exemption or credit, even if they live with you less than six months out of the year. To protect yourself, you should have your ex sign form 8832 to ensure that he or she does not also try to claim the child and create a red flag with the IRS.

 

5. Child Care Credits Can Save You Money

If you or your spouse were providing in-home care for your children during the marriage but are now both working, your kids may now be in daycare. In this case, there is a child care credit you may be eligible for. Just keep in mind that only the custodial parent can claim this credit.

 

Other Tax Considerations Related to Divorce

Something else to consider is that you may want to change your deductions on your W-4 form. When you are no longer married, you will have fewer deductions, and it is important to ensure that enough taxes are being withheld from your weekly or monthly paychecks. Otherwise, you could end up with a large tax bill at the end of the year.

Even if you typically file taxes on your own, it is wise to engage an accountant or CPA to guide you through the process the first year after your divorce. Once your taxes have been filed under your new status and you understand the exemptions and credits you qualify for, it will be easier to file on your own.

 

Help from a Rancho Cucamonga Divorce Attorney

It is also within your best interests to call 909-466-7661 or complete the form below to speak with the Law Office of Laurence J. Brock. We understand tax implications and how to protect your rights by ensuring that all necessary tax issues are addressed in the final divorce decree. Otherwise, ambiguity could lead to both future complications and disputes between you and your ex.

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Parental Rights in a Same-Sex Divorce

The American Bar Association estimates that roughly four million gay and lesbian parents are raising between six and ten million kids in our country. Under California law, same-sex married couples are supposed to have the same rights as heterosexual ones.

However, the courts are still figuring out how to handle cases that have different aspects than same-sex ones. Since legislation has changed many times and the laws and cases are new, both the California Courts and the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) suggest that same-sex parents establish their parentage legally with proper documentation.

 

Circumstances Vary in Same-Sex Marriages

Things can get tricky in divorces where the couple was together for years before marriage was even an option or decided on domestic partnership. There are also formalities having to do with where couples were married or lived. In cases where children came from a previous heterosexual marriage, gay and lesbian parents can face bias from judges who are not ideologically aligned with their lifestyle. And as California has seen with Proposition 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act, politicians can quickly take away what activists have worked so hard to achieve.

As with any custody case, the same criteria are evaluated: the child’s welfare and health; the relationship and caretaking duties of the parents; the presence of physical, drug, or alcohol abuse; and more. Unfortunately, however, things aren’t always so cut-and-dried.

 

Custody and Support Challenges

Many scenarios play out in same-sex divorces involving child custody. A non-biological parent can find his or herself out in the cold, heartbroken at being denied visitation rights to a child he or she nurtured since birth. Or a biological parent can suddenly find his or herself the sole parent as the other partner wants to give up parenting along with the partnership.

An in-depth analysis of parental responsibilities might be required if one partner is trying to paint the other as absent or uncaring. For instance, analyzing which partner spent more time caring for the children can be projected unfairly. One can appear to have committed less time when actually there may have been an agreement that one parent spend more time on career for the good of the family.

Of course, many couples want to split amicably, but the hard slog of determining visitation schedules and splitting expenses and other daily parenting duties can put strain on the most well-meaning of parents.

 

Consult a Rancho Cucamonga Same-Sex Divorce Attorney

As with all custody cases, it’s hard to separate the range of emotions a partner is feeling from what’s best for the child. Dealing with a separation or a divorce involving kids makes a confusing time even worse, and for same-sex couples, the process gets even more complicated.

If you are considering divorce, having a custody dispute, want to establish yourself as a legal parent or guardian, or have any other marriage-related legal issues, call Attorney Laurence J. Brock for a free consultation. He has been helping California clients resolve these issues for three decades and knows how to navigate the current same-sex marriage laws to help partners fight for their parental rights. Schedule your case evaluation by calling 909-466-7661 or by completing the form below.

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